4 Things That Hold You Back From Your Best Life
Do you ever feel like you’re just living the same day over and over again and wonder what’s the point of it all? You get up, tend to the kids, go to work, fix dinner and go to sleep. Repeat. When’s the last time you felt joy in your life…when you truly were loving life? This is what I hear from so many clients. They have tiny moments of joy, but can’t remember the last time they were loving their life. Some of them even seem to have it all…the career, the house, the husband, the kids. But still there always feels like there’s something missing.
I’ve been there, my friends. I was her at one point in time. On the outside, life was good. But on the inside, I was yearning for something more. It took me a while to figure out what that was, (and it’s different for each of us), but when I did, I was elated!
Until…all the thoughts about what I wanted to do started to creep in. “What if I fail? What if I suck at it? What will they think?” All the what-ifs came flooding in. It was like a soundtrack put on repeat. I went from elated to deflated like a balloon that someone let go of before tying it.
I know you have dreams…things you’ve always wanted to do or try. Some big and some small. Maybe you’ve always wanted to go back to school or change careers or run a marathon or start your own business. Whatever it is, your brain will want to give you some pretty pathetic excuses for why you shouldn’t do it. “It’s too late. I’m too old. I can’t because ____.” They are all lies are brain likes to tell us.
Our brain was designed to protect us from danger and it’s really good at it. Except, sometimes what it perceives as danger isn’t harmful to us at all. If we allow it, our brain will hold us back from living our best life.
Here are 4 Things That Hold You Back From Your Best Life.
One of the most common things that hold us back from living our best life is self-doubt. Lack of confidence will stop you in your tracks every time if you don’t manage it well. It tries to tell us that we can’t do that. That we’re not good enough or smart enough or don’t have what it takes.
What if none of that was really true? What if you just chose not to believe those things about yourself?
Ahh…my BFF…fear. Let me tell you what allowing fear to hold you back will do. It will keep you playing small. Keep your life at the status quo. It will keep you from trying new things, taking risks, and will throw out all the “what ifs” it can think of. It will keep you stuck for the rest of your life if you let it.
When fear tries to hitch a ride on your train, it might sound something like this:
What if I get fired?
What if he leaves me?
What if I fail?
What if they think I’m a joke?
What if I’m not good at it?
And the list goes on.
When I’m paralyzed with fear, I like to ask myself “what is the worst that can happen?” and then I follow it with “so what?” Here is the thing about fear. It’s just a feeling…a vibration in our body. It will not hurt us to just feel some fear. So, I’m learning to just allow myself to feel the fear (instead of resisting it) and to take action anyway. That, my friend, is courage.
Your beliefs, many you may not even be aware you’ve adopted, can also hold you back in life and keep you playing small. Anytime we want to do something new, our brain wants to revert to past belief systems that in most cases don’t serve us. It likes to find evidence of why the “it” isn’t possible for us.
“I won’t be good at it because no one in my family has ever done anything like it.”
“Owning a business is too risky.”
“It will take too much time and hustle.”
“I’m not the kind of person who is capable of making a lot of money.”
“Having a lot of money is bad.”
“My husband should be the one bringing in the income.”
“I don’t have time.”
“I don’t have what it takes.”
Your brain will offer you all of this BS. None of it is true. Did you know that we spend almost our entire lives carrying around beliefs that simply do not serve us? Many of which, we don’t even realize we have.
They are all just thoughts. And thoughts are always optional.
YOU have the power to change them.
If you’re looking for something that will keep you stuck in your life…Every. Single. Time. Look no further than indulging in confusion and indecision. It is guaranteed to keep you stuck. It amazes me how much we dwell in confusion about what to do in our life. I know it all too well. I still catch myself doing it. Many times it’s because we are afraid (there comes fear again) of making the “wrong” decision. Did you know that there is no wrong decision? Decisions are neutral. They don’t become wrong or right until we have a thought about it. And we can choose to think that it’s the right decision any time we want to. Such great news!
Confusion is what I call an indulgent emotion. We like to indulge in it as if it were a triple chocolate cheesecake (or whatever you like to indulge in). It feels good to some degree because if we stay in confusion and don’t make a decision, then we get to stay in our comfort zone and don’t have to actually take action.
What have you been stuck in confusion about? What decisions have you been putting on hold? Did you know that you can just decide? AND even once you decide, you can change your mind later. Whaattt?!
P.S. If you need help launching yourself out of fear, self-doubt, confusion or overwhelm, I can help you Momma! Shoot me a message and let’s chat.