Here Is How to Handle Shitty Feelings
Yesterday, I talked about why our life should be more than just a highlight reel and how we are supposed to experience negative emotion. “But why should I and how do I do that without falling into a dark hole of despair?” Sure, we can buffer away our feelings with overeating,
Did you know that there is an actual process for this whole feeling our emotions thing? Here’s how to handle those shitty feelings.
The first step in truly feeling our emotions is to become more aware of exactly what it is that you are feeling. Take a step back to evaluate what you’re feeling and actually name the emotion in one word…irritation, anger, disappointment, sadness, self-doubt, etc. Here is a list of emotions to get your mind rolling: Feelings List.
Remember, feelings are just vibrations in our body caused by our thoughts. That’s it. Nothing more.
Open Up To It
Next, it’s best to just open up to it. Acknowledge that it’s there and allow it to just be there. I know this seems counterproductive, but trust me on this. The first time I heard this whole processing feelings stuff, I thought they were crazy. “Won’t it just intensify it?” Try it. Seriously. Just allow it to be there and relax into it. Just sit with it and notice it. Get curious about it. This actually helps is to dissipate. This crap actually works.
Get Into Your Body
Once you’ve named it and you’re allowing it to just be there, now you want to get into your body. Let me explain. You want to focus on what this emotion feels like in your body.
- Where do you feel it in your body? Your chest, your head, your stomach?
- If you had to give the feeling a color, what color would it be?
- Does it feel hard or soft?
- Is the feeling fast or slow in your body?
- If the feeling was an animal, which animal would it be?
The key is to imagine that you just met an alien who has no idea what that emotion feels like. They have never experienced it and you have to explain to them what it is. How would you explain it to them?
After a while of sitting with the negative emotion, relaxing into it and really getting into your body, you will likely notice is changing.
If you can learn to really process emotions this way, you will see that there is no emotion that you can’t handle. You own it. You have authority over it. The next time you feel the same emotion, you can say to yourself: “I can do this feeling. It’s really no big deal. There’s no need to fun and hide. This is harmless.”
Think of all the things we don’t do in life because we want to avoid feeling a shitty emotion. But what if you’re willing to feel anything? Think about what you’d be willing to try!
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