How to Not Get Your Feelings Hurt So Much
Do you notice that your feelings get hurt pretty often? Or maybe you have a relationship in your life that results in a lot of hurt feelings for you?
As humans, we want to blame someone else and say that they hurt our feelings. It’s natural for most people to think this because that’s what we’ve been taught. I’m sure at some point in your life you can remember someone saying something along the lines of “oh, did Johnny hurt your feelings?” or “you hurt my feelings.” I know…because I’ve said these things before to my own child. What we notice is that someone said something and then we felt hurt. So, it’s natural to think other people can hurt our feelings. But this simply isn’t true.
Did you know that we hurt our own feelings?
All the time!
The truth is that other people can’t hurt our feelings with what they say.
We actually don’t feel the feeling of hurt until we have a thought about what they said. What someone else says is neutral until we make it mean something negative. If you think about it…it’s literally just someone moving their jaw and sounds coming out of their mouth. Seeing the words of others in this way can be so empowering. It gives you back your power by allowing you to decide how you want to feel and then think thoughts in order to feel that way.
The choice is always up to us.
It’s good awareness to notice that anytime someone says something to you and you feel hurt, it’s because on some level you believe it to be true. If you didn’t believe it, it wouldn’t hurt. Or, you’re making what they said to mean something bad about you.
It’s easy for us to forget that we’re hurting our own feelings.
Think about this concept in the context of your relationships. How we feel about anyone or a particular relationship is based solely on our thoughts. So, if you notice yourself feeling hurt in a relationship, be on the lookout for the thought you are having that is making you feel that way. What thoughts are you having about what they said, and what are you making it mean about you?
If this concept is difficult for you to wrap your head around, drop a specific example in the comments below, and I’ll help you work through it!
Stacy R. Landry
P.S. I could use your help! I’m working on creating a free tool just for my audience and I would love to get your input on what kind of tool would be the most helpful to you. Just click here to pick your choice: Help Me Pick a Freebie!