Is Rejection Really That Big of a Deal?
What might you do differently in your life if you didn’t fear being rejected?
The fear of rejection has been a part of the human experience for thousands of years. Back then, being excluded from the group meant death. So, it kept us hiding out in the cave so we wouldn’t risk being rejected by the group.
Today, our brain thinks we will die if we are rejected. So, we play small and hide. And we constantly seek the approval of others.
Rejection is why people-pleasing and perfectionism exists. People pleasers aren’t willing to be rejected so they do whatever it takes to try to make others happy. And perfectionists try to prevent it from happening altogether by not putting anything less than “perfect” out into the world.
The problem with our fear of rejection in modern day is that in order to grow and evolve as human beings, we have to get outside of our comfort zone and risk rejection. And the best way to handle rejection is to build self-confidence.
You have to be willing to lose someone’s approval in order to gain your own.
Go on…reject me. Bring it! I’m willing to move forward anyway. I’m willing to be who I am. It’s all okay. It’s totally ok for you to be wrong about me.
It’s okay if people don’t like you or approve of what you’re doing if it means you’re loving yourself and honoring what YOU want. They don’t have to agree.
Feeling rejected is no big deal.
It isn’t as big of a deal as we make it out to be anyway. The feeling of rejection is just a vibration that we feel in our bodies when we think certain thoughts. That’s it. We can just allow it to be there for a bit. We won’t die.
We can even choose to not feel rejection. Not by avoiding risk or buffering from the emotion, but by choosing different thoughts. It’s all a choice. We know this because the same person can say the exact same thing to two different people and one person may feel rejected by it and the other person won’t. It all depends on what they are thinking.
It’s important to remember that when someone rejects you, it doesn’t mean anything about you. It just tells us about the other person. It’s something they do for their own reasons based on their own feelings created by their own thoughts.
The more willing you are to be rejected, the more confidence you will have. What’s most important is not what other people think of you anyway…it’s what YOU think of you. You only need YOUR approval.
Stacy R. Landry
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