The One Thing That Will Bring You More Peace
Wouldn’t it be nice if people came with instruction manuals? Like when you buy a new car or one of those Silhouette vinyl machines to make really cute t-shirts (still on my wishlist)…it tells you exactly what to expect from it and how to get it to do what you want it to do. And when it malfunctions, it tells you how to handle that too!
Most of us actually do have operating manuals (rule books for how other people should behave) for other people in our life, but the problem is that they know NOTHING about it. And we bank our happiness and peace of whether or not they follow our manual.
We have a manual for our partners that says they should help with laundry without us having to ask (amongst many other rules). Our kids should keep their room clean and they shouldn’t leave their crap lying around everywhere. We have a manual for how our co-workers or boss should act, or how complete strangers should show up in the world.
We have this belief system that if others would just behave how we want them to, then we would be happy.
Then we would be less stressed and overwhelmed and experience more peace.
But these rules we have for others rarely serve us well.
The reason why we want someone else to change the way they are behaving is because of how we think we will feel when they do. However, it is our thinking that causes our feelings….not their actions.
You can definitely keep your manual for others if you would like…if it serves you well. But, if you want more peace and it’s just not serving you anymore, take back your power…
Take ownership of your feelings and just toss the manual!
I’m not saying don’t make requests of people. Ask your husband to help with the laundry. Ask your kids to put their dishes in the dishwasher.
Just don’t tie your emotional wellbeing to them taking action on your request.
Don’t let your sanity and emotional happiness depend on whether or not they do what you ask.
Trying to change them to be more like you want them to be will rarely work.
P.S. Do you want to feel less stress, overwhelm and anxiety in your life? Let’s set up a time to chat! Just click here to schedule a free 30 min session with me.